The LOLCats are destroying the English language, chewing up all that is grammatically correct and spitting it out in a Meow Mix and tuna flavored puddle. For those not familiar with these cute and ruinous creatures, LOLCats feature said adorable felines with strange type across the picture like "I iz smartz" or "Can I has a Cheezburger?"
While cute on the surface, this type of chicanery can only lead to a slippery slope that starts with bending the rules of grammar and ends up with you and about 20 LOLCats in a hovel somewhere, all of you eating from the same can of cat food.
We’ve spent centuries cultivating this communication tool, our trusted language, the Queen's English (and please say this with a cup of tea in hand and pinkie raised) only to have it dulled by a vernacular coined by pimply-faced 14-year-old girls.
Granted, most text services only allow you 160 characters to get your message across, but if you have that much to say to where everything has an abbreviation, then maybe U SJWAE, right? (For those who aren't in the know with this phrase we just invented on the spot, we said "Maybe you should just write an e-mail, right?")
Let's look at a recent instant message communique.
Hi.
Sup.
Not much. U?
Nothin.
Me either. LOL.
TTYL
Yep.
So, basically, our lack of anything relevant to say has been condensed into a compacted mini-language that has all the elegance of a rhinoceros in a tutu.
U? Is it really that much of a burden on your fingers to type the “y” and “o”? Really?
And “LOL”? First off, many of us use this term disingenuously. Are you really laughing out loud? We can’t even remember the last time we laughed out loud – well maybe it was the time we saw the pizza delivery boy get mugged. We really should have called the police, but the blood stains on our porch have almost dried at this point. Oh well.
LOL sounds like the noise uttered by someone who's wearing their own drool on the front of their shirt as they chew on pieces of a puzzle.
We understand that today's Twitter-centric forms of relating to one another don't allow for too many characters, and every spot the cursor hits is one more valuable piece of real estate. But as we mentioned earlier, if you have that much to convey, an e-mail might not be out of the question.
While cute on the surface, this type of chicanery can only lead to a slippery slope that starts with bending the rules of grammar and ends up with you and about 20 LOLCats in a hovel somewhere, all of you eating from the same can of cat food.
We’ve spent centuries cultivating this communication tool, our trusted language, the Queen's English (and please say this with a cup of tea in hand and pinkie raised) only to have it dulled by a vernacular coined by pimply-faced 14-year-old girls.
Granted, most text services only allow you 160 characters to get your message across, but if you have that much to say to where everything has an abbreviation, then maybe U SJWAE, right? (For those who aren't in the know with this phrase we just invented on the spot, we said "Maybe you should just write an e-mail, right?")
Let's look at a recent instant message communique.
Hi.
Sup.
Not much. U?
Nothin.
Me either. LOL.
TTYL
Yep.
So, basically, our lack of anything relevant to say has been condensed into a compacted mini-language that has all the elegance of a rhinoceros in a tutu.
U? Is it really that much of a burden on your fingers to type the “y” and “o”? Really?
And “LOL”? First off, many of us use this term disingenuously. Are you really laughing out loud? We can’t even remember the last time we laughed out loud – well maybe it was the time we saw the pizza delivery boy get mugged. We really should have called the police, but the blood stains on our porch have almost dried at this point. Oh well.
LOL sounds like the noise uttered by someone who's wearing their own drool on the front of their shirt as they chew on pieces of a puzzle.
We understand that today's Twitter-centric forms of relating to one another don't allow for too many characters, and every spot the cursor hits is one more valuable piece of real estate. But as we mentioned earlier, if you have that much to convey, an e-mail might not be out of the question.
AWFR? Yes, we're fucking right.
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